1. Notes: 13 / 3 months ago 

    Jealousy Makes Me Hungry

    One Sunday a month, Michele has lunch with a girlfriend I that have never met. She is anti-social so I supported and very much encouraged her to get out of the house to relax without the kids and make some new friends. She doesn’t have a lot of friends that I haven’t met or that I haven’t tried to get in their pants. I can let her have one of those kinds of friends or maybe even two. Generosity is one of my more charming traits.

    She gets dressed in a cute outfit and leaves me with the kids. I don’t mind being left with the kids because it gives me a much needed opportunity to remember their names and get to know them better. They are around the house somewhere while I’m writing this.  She mentions this new friend casually but I don’t know anything about her. I suspect I may never even meet her.  What I do know is she takes pictures of the food she eats but never a photo of her dining companion. I see photos the likes of tasty appetizers and pulled pork entrees. For all I know, she could actually be having a relationship with someone from the Internet. 

    What I do know is that I am jealous. I don’t want a friend to myself and I would actually be proud if she was having some steamy Internet affair. I am only jealous because I want some of those god damn nachos.

  2. Notes

    1. edgellace said: Or chicken fingers with honey mustard while sipping some Sex on the Beach
    2. roughdiction posted this
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The most important thing is knowing when to blame someone else for your mistakes.
 
 

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